Miles of the Skunks

I wake up every morning

And my fun meter goes through the roof

I’m shaking like Michael J. Fox

And it’s time for the scoop

Bela is anxious

She wants to eat

I bite her neck

And she bites my cheek

I tell her “Chill Out, Bitch”

And she bites my beard

I growl like construction

And I’m about to be feared

“Just wait till we’re outside,

You’ll see what’s up!”

She blows off my comment

Like I’m a teenage McGruff

Our human tosses us out

And we scatter with the pee-poo walk

I’m still really angry

Too angry to talk

Then I drop my load

And I am suddenly hit

With the scent of a damn sneaky skunk

That smells like my Human’s apartment

That smell get’s me all sick

And Bela sick as well

Like when Human’s house gets smoky

Like the gates of hell

Bela runs for the bushes

And gives a warning shout

And I run passed her and proclaim

“I’m Miles; you better get your ass out!”

That skunk gave a little shiver

And thought twice about dying

And I thought about smelling

Like bad eggs frying

Bela backed off

I was way too hot

I gave a little jump

And skunked is what I got

“Human is going to be so pissed at me”

I howled like a blues hound

Bela told me to shut up

And led me running round

“I know of a bush that’ll cover you up”

She sang and took off

I rushed into a pile of leaves

And it made me cough

She found a swimming pool

Full of chlorine

She told me to take a dip

And I just jumped on in

Then she led me to someone’s garden

And told me to roll around

There were flowers all over

And sprinklers on the ground

The dirt was washed of my back

At the pulse of the sprinkles

And the sound of running water

Made me want to tinkle

Now I was clean

And Bela was fast

She heard Human’s car

And that was that

We ran back to the yard

By Human’s apartment

And all I could think about

Is if I still smelled of that horrid scent